Thursday, April 18, 2013

Twice the "legal" limit.

Today is my 42nd birthday.  im really not sure where this blog post is going to go.  like always, i had some ideas in my head, but theyve come and gone.
To be honest, i never thought that i would make it to this age.  at the same time, i generally do not FEEL my age, and most of the time i do not act it.

Life has gotten harder the last few months.  i am changing.  Maybe its the diabetes, maybe its just getting old.  i dont heal like i used to, and i feel tired a
lot of the time.  not much interests me anymore.  i still love my job, but even that has changed.  i still love baseball cards, but i feel as if they no longer feel
the same.  my passion for comics is still there, but has cooled off a bit as well.   2012 was just so good overall as a year of collecting for me.  2013 is
bound to be a letdown in that department. For the most part, that has held true.

im tired of the foods that i am able to eat.  i wouldnt say that i "miss" the "bad" foods, but i just cant bring myself to eat them, no matter how much in my
mind that i want to.  it's been nearly 40 months now with this disease.  i guess i can admit that it has me, i dont have it.  in the beginning i was an active
member of a few of the diabetic message boards, three i think it was.  now i barely belong to one.  the changeover rate is so high, the people that were
also new when i signed up there about three years ago are no longer there, not at least when i pop myself in to say hello. sucks, but thats how it is
with this disease.  People come and go. People start out strong, then give in and say "fuck it", fall off the eating/exercising wagon.  ive seen it happen.
Hasnt happened to me yet though.  i still follow the as-low-as-possible daily carb intake diet, and still get in my exercise daily, weather permitting.

i like to think im a nice person.  i have flaws like everyone else.  im self admittedly VERY stubborn.  i still think i have knowledge to offer others, especially
when it comes to collecting cards and more with each passing day, comics.  i like good conversation, but hardly find it anymore.  i dont physically talk to
very many people, everything is online nowadays.

well, this has been a rant of some sort i suppose.  just wanted to type something.  im not the type of person that wants the "birthday attention" and dont
seek it out.  hey, at least i thought up a catchy subject lol